Women and Children First

I have never considered myself a feminist. My experience with the ideas of feminism have been pretty negative. I am extremely grateful for the efforts of strong women that made it possible for women to vote and hold public office and gain an education and work in whatever field they want to. But I think the campaign can stop now. As a teenager I saw a female firefighter on tv. She was complaining about feminists who had worked (or were trying to work) their way in to being a firefighter by insisting that they lower the strength requirements. She had become a firefighter by working hard to be strong enough and didn't think it was right that they should think they deserved to be an exception. This disturbed me a lot. Those strength requirements are there for a reason. They prepare firefighters for the tough job they have to do. Firehoses are heavy. And people in a burning building could be heavy. Other peoples lives are put in danger because a wimpy girl insisted she had the right to be a firefighter! Okay, obviously, I'm not even sure they ever changed the requirements, but it illustrates my point! That there are some things we don't have to do girls and we should be grateful!
I recently received a magazine from The Vision Forum. Their new theme for 2012 is Women and Children First. The story that inspired the theme comes from the sinking of the Titanic when women and children were put into lifeboats. The question the magazine poses is how can we reconcile "women and children first" with the spirit of feminism. They answer that we cannot. Either men are the protectors of women and children or they are not. In today's world women fight alongside men in the military to protect our country. Women are firefighters and police. But who does that leave to stay home and teach and protect the children?
That is not the only thing that disturbs me, though. In the process we have lost the gentlemen. The men who would hold a door and watch their language when women and children were present. Is it possible to have women pushing their rights to be as strong as men, and still have men treat women with deference and respect? I think it is. But I think women have to quit pushing for equality as in sameness. We as women have a lot to contribute to the world. It is the difference in what we contribute that makes it so valuable. Women have worked hard to give us a voice, to make us part of the conversations. For most women, brute strength is not what we have to contribute. Not all men have that either. But they are more likely to be built to gain that if they chose. Children are often told by supportive and loving and well-meaning parents that they can do anything that they put their mind to. This is a lie. We are not all blessed with the height to be good at basketball or volleyball. We are not all blessed with the ability to communicate easily and well. Drawing and singing and many other talents have something to do with the gifts we were born with. They still have to be worked at and developed, but still the ability came for nothing. Many of the things we want to do we can improve, but that doesn't mean we will be stellar at them. Just as children need to accept their own talents and limitations I think women and men need to embrace their differences. Accept that there are some things that we just can't do.
This article got me wondering if we really even want the attitude "women and children first"? Can men show women deference and still respect them instead of thinking of them as "the weaker sex"?