Merry Christmas

We had our musical Christmas program at church today. My kids sang a song with all the other young kids that I have heard many times, but this year it is making me cry every time.

When Joseph Went to Bethlehem
When Joseph went to Bethlehem, I think he took great care
To place his tools and close his shop and leave no shavings there.
He urged the donkey forward then, with Mary on its back,
And carried bread and goat cheese in a little linen sack.

I think there at the busy inn that he was meek and mild
And awed to be the guardian of Mary's sacred child.
Perhaps all through the chilly hours he smoothed the swaddling bands,
And Jesus felt the quiet strength of Joseph's gentle hands.

And close beside the manger bed, he dimmed the lantern's light
And held the little Jesus close upon that holy night.

Bessie Saunders Spencer

It's the second stanza that keeps making me cry. It makes me think of the men in my life and I wonder how many of them would be "meek and mild" in that situation. I think that it's true. I think that Joseph, even though it must have pained him to not be able to make Mary more comfortable that night, would have patiently accepted the answer when turned away at door after door. So many men I know would have shouted at the person who answered the door, as if that was going to make more room appear, causing bad feelings and stress both to the innkeeper and to Mary. And I don't mean that just the men I know behave that way. I and many women I know do also. Shouting at the bill collector over the phone, or the person standing at the register at the phone. Sometimes adults throw much worse tantrums than two-year-olds. Somehow meekly accepting our situation isn't even seen as a virtue that often any more. We have to fight for our "rights" as we perceive them. Even when it's just saving an extra fifty cents for a coupon at the grocery store.

Yes, I am touched by the image of the gentle Joseph. I hope this Christmas season teaches me to be more accepting of God's will in my life. Life would be so much more calm and peaceful if people could learn to give a meek and mild answer to the challenges we face in life.

Merry Christmas. I hope Christmas can bring us all a little more peace as we remember the birth and life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Women and Children First

I have never considered myself a feminist. My experience with the ideas of feminism have been pretty negative. I am extremely grateful for the efforts of strong women that made it possible for women to vote and hold public office and gain an education and work in whatever field they want to. But I think the campaign can stop now. As a teenager I saw a female firefighter on tv. She was complaining about feminists who had worked (or were trying to work) their way in to being a firefighter by insisting that they lower the strength requirements. She had become a firefighter by working hard to be strong enough and didn't think it was right that they should think they deserved to be an exception. This disturbed me a lot. Those strength requirements are there for a reason. They prepare firefighters for the tough job they have to do. Firehoses are heavy. And people in a burning building could be heavy. Other peoples lives are put in danger because a wimpy girl insisted she had the right to be a firefighter! Okay, obviously, I'm not even sure they ever changed the requirements, but it illustrates my point! That there are some things we don't have to do girls and we should be grateful!
I recently received a magazine from The Vision Forum. Their new theme for 2012 is Women and Children First. The story that inspired the theme comes from the sinking of the Titanic when women and children were put into lifeboats. The question the magazine poses is how can we reconcile "women and children first" with the spirit of feminism. They answer that we cannot. Either men are the protectors of women and children or they are not. In today's world women fight alongside men in the military to protect our country. Women are firefighters and police. But who does that leave to stay home and teach and protect the children?
That is not the only thing that disturbs me, though. In the process we have lost the gentlemen. The men who would hold a door and watch their language when women and children were present. Is it possible to have women pushing their rights to be as strong as men, and still have men treat women with deference and respect? I think it is. But I think women have to quit pushing for equality as in sameness. We as women have a lot to contribute to the world. It is the difference in what we contribute that makes it so valuable. Women have worked hard to give us a voice, to make us part of the conversations. For most women, brute strength is not what we have to contribute. Not all men have that either. But they are more likely to be built to gain that if they chose. Children are often told by supportive and loving and well-meaning parents that they can do anything that they put their mind to. This is a lie. We are not all blessed with the height to be good at basketball or volleyball. We are not all blessed with the ability to communicate easily and well. Drawing and singing and many other talents have something to do with the gifts we were born with. They still have to be worked at and developed, but still the ability came for nothing. Many of the things we want to do we can improve, but that doesn't mean we will be stellar at them. Just as children need to accept their own talents and limitations I think women and men need to embrace their differences. Accept that there are some things that we just can't do.
This article got me wondering if we really even want the attitude "women and children first"? Can men show women deference and still respect them instead of thinking of them as "the weaker sex"?

Behind The Scenes

Most of the friends I've made since I've been married will be surprised to know that my family wondered if I would ever shut up. I can talk forever. I need to talk in order to think through things clearly. That means that I don't always mean the first thing that comes out of my mouth. But I knew that if I was driving my family crazy then my friends probably got sick of hearing me too. So I have learned to talk less. Some might say I still talk too much. And I certainly still say many things I wish I hadn't. I'll likely type many things I don't mean and wish I hadn't too. But I'll try to save and edit sometimes instead of just virtually blurting out whatever is in my head. The point is that those who read will either have to overlook these shortcomings or read something else on the web. There are many more prolific writers than I am.
Anyway, in my efforts to talk less I have acquired a bad habit of having conversations in my head and I'm not always sure which ones are real and which ones aren't. My husband is gone a lot so most of my imaginary conversations happen with him and then there is this cycle of frustration where he says I never said something that I remember saying to him! And then if we are actually together I'll sometimes start a conversation in my head and then switch to out loud in the middle. This happened on our latest road trip. And as we were both laughing at me he said, "I know there is a lot going on behind the scenes, but that was a little too much even for me!" He meant that he could usually figure out what I was talking about even when I bring him in in the middle. I enjoyed the description of my thinking and so that is the title of this blog. If anyone ever reads this feel free to comment. I'm used to having conversations with myself, but it might be nice to hear from others sometimes!